My Vow For Now

And on this day....11/30/2017....I vow that writing will once again be a priority for me!



Looking back at previous posts I am so grateful for these reminders!

My memory is AWFUL and so these posts remind me of moments
captured even if just for a second!

The Me I Hope To Be Part 1.....

The Me I Hope To Be Part 1....

This post is all about amazing ourselves, making changes, reaching goals, and transforming our minds and bodies!

Most days this is me....

I'm most often disorganized (well most often organized chaos)

I'm most often forgetful (can't find my sunglasses that I just put on my head)

I'm most often spread thin (no explanation necessary...we all are!)

I can get overwhelmed.

I hurry.

I struggle daily with being mindful.

I've never actually put laundry in the oven but it's not as far fetched as it sounds.

Today was the exception..

Today I was together. Fancy. Happy. Calm. Kind. Positive. Patient. Grateful. In control.

I was all of this....

I was up and out early at school by 7:45

Paperwork and classroom updates before the kids came in at 9:00

Young Author Day

Times where I was proud to be part of an amazing school team

Pick up kids

Make dinner (so not the norm)

Drop to baseball

Drop to School of Rock

Watch some baseball

Pick up at School of Rock

Watch some more baseball

Get kids home and clean

Clock check.

8:45

And then I PUSHED PLAY!

I. PUSHED. PLAY. FOR. THE. 60TH. CONSECUTIVE. DAY!

Everyone knows that Domenic typically keeps his cape hidden under his clothes.
That we make this wild life work by leaning on each other and sharing the chaos.
Tonight was one of those nights I needed to tackle on my own since he had school graduation!

More transformations in part 2....

When Perfect Is Not Possible

When Perfect Is Not Possible....

When Perfect Is Not Possible....

Which is never!

I have this idea of perfect. This idea of how's things are "supposed" to go. This way of how I want them, how I've planned them, what I've prepared, what I'm anticipating. And it's not always "perfect" that I'm looking or preparing for. But it never makes the outcomes different when things don't quite work out the way I want.

Let's be honest...

I'm a chick, a mom, a wife, sister, friend. And I'm loved and needed.

I have 3 amazing sons who are 2, 6, and 10 who have their own things going on and who often need their momma.

I work full time as a special teacher for kids for with special needs. And days and moments don't always go as planned!

I have a wonderful husband who is my team mate in all things life! 

And I'm working on me! Trying to be the best ME I can be. 

Trying to be healthy, and strong, and organized, and calm, and patient, while still dreaming and chasing goals.

AND. IT. IS. NOT. EASY.

And when 1 thing goes wrong or off plan, I crack. 

And I have to force myself to not feel like a failure. 

Because in my head, sadly I have 2 stages...

Perfection

And

Failure

And I know there is so much more!

I just have trouble seeing it.

And living it.

And I need to try harder. 

I'm working on it!

Because I don't want it to kill 

my skill, 

my spark, 

my art, 

my soul!

Here's to be excellent! Not perfect!

A Good Weight On Me

A Good Weight On Me

So I think about weight a lot and I talk about weight a lot! Probably to a detriment! But I'm determined! I'm eating clean as often as I can and I'm working out harder than I have in my life! I'm proud of myself! And I want to be healthy and strong!

But this isn't about my body weight!

I often think about the weight of stress! I'm thinking all the time. I have lists upon lists upon lists! 

But this isn't about the weight of my thoughts either!

Instead tonight...I'm completely relaxed with the weight of my children on me! LITERALLY!

I can't get up to capture this moment in a picture and it's all ok!

It's a Tuesday night!
We finished homework.
Domenic and I exercised (with Nick and Zack exercising with us here and there!).
We had dinner.
Did baths.
And we all laid on the couch to watch Survivor...and everyone's asleep.
Luke's legs are across mine and both Nick and Zack are laying on either side of me!

The weight of another body on you is funny!
It's warm and heavy!
And as their body's rise and fall with each breath, I don't want to move to stir them!

They are so peaceful!

I am so filled with love at this very moment!

And I'll probably stay up later tonight...just to prolong feeling the weight of my boys I love so, so much!

So thankful

Just so Thankful....

Parades, family's, food, football! 

One of the best years ever!

#nowicanmatchmyelf

So much love!

It was a big turkey! 

#kingofgrassstains

#earninghiskeep

I'm done with pictures mom.

#pleaseturnoffthepolkamusic

#turkeyfootball

#weneedbucklestogotothemuffinstore

It was a tough one for pops! But he was Thankful!

This Boy....And I'm Back on Track!

This Boy....And I'm Back on Track!

My last post was 1/7/15 and I feel like a whole year has gone undocumented.

This pictures above is from November 21st (2015)

This picture below is from November 14th (2014)

Same sweet face and yet he has grown so much!

Zack, 

You are the perfect recipe of sweet, sympathetic, polite, funny, wild, crazy, and kind!

I love you more than you know!

A year has gone by and here is where we are now....

You recently started carrying around a Curious George monkey everywhere you go. It's adorable!

You are copying every word your brothers say include: "What the heck.....(fill in the blank)"

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Where the heck are my pants?"

"Where the heck is my breakfast?"

Its hysterical and frightening! We are trying to correct you without busting out with laughter!

You are a great cuddler! You love to snuggle with mommy when you wake up early and I'm trying to squeeze a few extra moments under the covers.

You love chocolate milk, playing puzzles, and dressing yourself. You have also begun surfing Youtube. Which we are so not proud of...but we find it hysterical that you will jump from 1 toy review video to another.

You spend your days at Miss Kim's and Nan's and some days you just hate to leave home...which often leads to tears at drop off. But its adorably cute that before Dad leaves he says, "and remember...." and you finish his thought...."no crying at Miss Kim's!"

Your vocabulary and memory are astonishing. I'm not attempting to predict your future but you surprise daddy and I everyday!

I'm saddened by the fact that I've lost a year on the blog.
Its been busy and not always focused.
Not always breathing in the moment.
Not always finding the happy.
Instead getting easily distracted by schedules, coming and going.
Stressing about details of life that you can't change.
Placing too much emphasis on my level of tired.
Not in the mood to write on the Happy Matters blog.

I didn't take a break, I just didn't force myself when I wasn't feeling it!

Now I'm taking a more active approach to redirecting all my thoughts and actions to find the positive!

Appreciating silver linings!

Recognizing that in the chaos, still breathing in the moment and observing my surroundings will make for many amazing memories.

And with that....Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!

Stay Tuned!